A personal reflection by Tehmina Siganporia, International Coordinator of CoP

This time upon arriving in Kenya, our bags arrived with us. The second phase of our 6 week long venture had begun. Ann Njeri Ndiangui was our host in Kenya. We arrived in a little town called Subukia, five hours from Nairobi, in the Rift Valley. Subukia served as our home for the next week. We hosted two sets of 3 day workshops.

The first workshop was attended by 14 women, including some from Uganda. To break the ice and establish community guidelines, Jean Brown tossed a ball of string to one of the women. This woman then tossed the ball, holding onto a bit of the string, to another woman. This created a beautiful crisscross pattern. Each time the ball of string was tossed to another, the woman passing it had to share one word, which is essential for a community. Words such as, trust, respect, communication, integrity, love, peace, listening and forgiveness, among others, became the basis of the workshop.

When the remainder of the ball of string reached the last person, it illustrated that we were not a closed community. In fact we were open and welcoming to others and still had room to grow. This tribalism is being faced by Kenyans today.

Kenya, a country rich with many tribes and languages, has been struggling with tribal clashes. Those in 1997 were so severe that many families had to offer one of the men from their families to defend their villages. Ann, herself was a victim of tribalism. Hers was one of the many families which had to relocate. Hers is the Kikuyu tribe. The rival tribe is the Kalenjin. Ann had a profound transformation after attending her first Peace Circle workshop. She realized that she had not forgiven this tribe and still hated them. She would readily speak ill of them, to willing listeners. She realized that she was passing on the seeds of prejudice to future generations. Determined to break this chain of hate and mistrust, Ann vowed to decontaminate the future by being willing to forgive the Kalenjin. Sharing this story moved her fellow tribe’s women.

At the end of the workshop, Ann went a step further. She felt forgiving the Kalenjin was not enough. She too needed to ask of their forgiveness, which she found very hard to do. Another participant in the workshop, a mother of three adult children shared her feelings about tribalism. She had strictly warned her children never to marry into any other tribe. This woman, also a Kikuyu, wept whilst she decided to apologise to her children, individually. Her 3 day experience of the Peace Circle made her see that she was contributing to the problem in the country by sowing these seeds of tribalism in her family. This is the ethos of the Creators of Peace programme, to help women to face their dual role as peace creators or perpetuators of conflict. She has already apologized to her two daughters and granted them her blessings in being free to marry into any tribe!

With the upcoming Kenyan elections, tribalism plays a destructive role. Votes are often given to a leader if he comes from the same tribe as the voter, regardless of his corruption record. Hopefully, this time in Kenya, some of these women will not allow tribalism to get in the way of casting an honest vote.

In the same spirit of honesty, another participant shared about her hidden agenda in trying to convert her colleagues and students to Christianity when she was the principal of a Muslim school. After watching the film, The Imam and Pastor during the workshop, she asked for God’s forgiveness. She said, ‘I realize how wrong I have been.’ The film demonstrates profound reconciliation between two religious leaders in Nigeria.

This woman is an NGO leader and peace activist. After attending the workshop, she decided to restructure her peace work in order to include the spiritual element and personal introspection.

A young Ugandan woman shared her experience of property grabbing. After her father’s death, her relatives seized all the family’s belongings and property. Deprived of everything, hatred developed towards her relatives. Property grabbing is a common practice in Uganda when the man of the household dies. She decided to make an effort to reconnect with those relatives. She approached her mother and sister who agreed that it was the right step to take.

Another woman had broken relationships with her siblings. Often she blamed them for their attitude. During one of the peace building workshops, whilst constructing something out of clay, it dawned on her that she too was to blame. The day the workshop ended, she scheduled a meeting in her home with all her siblings.

A fun and interesting communication exercise which filled the room with laughter was one where two women had to sit back to back. Each had an identical set of objects. One woman created an arrangement and gave instructions to the other, who tried to follow and create the same arrangement. No questions and no looking were allowed. Language barriers, confusing instructions, lack of accuracy and choice of words, resulted in comical errors.

This exercise highlights that communication is a vital quality in peace building and can make or break any relationship. It is an essential quality of a peace creator. It is hard enough to communicate face to face, imagine the reverse. In this exercise, we also asked the women whether there was anyone in their lives on whom, figuratively speaking, they turn their back.

The two workshops ended with a group photograph, hugs, decisions, passing of a candle and a blessing. We flew out of Kenya a few days later, on our way to Sudan. News continues to reach us from our Kenyan friends as they continue to implement what they learnt in the workshops.